I wish I could find some form of peace and happiness within myself. It seems like all my happiness comes from external sources for validation and affirmation. The sad thing is, that's how I've been my whole life, so it's not like I know any better. I wish I was independent and didn't rely on anyone to make me happy or feel loved. I'm always so emotionally invested that at the end of the day, I'm the one who drowns in my own pool of sorrow. Whenever I meet someone, I always prepare myself to be ready to leave at any given moment... and I do think I am capable... I just need some time to recuperate. But some days, I feel weak and wish for sunshine and rainbows... like guaranteed emotional stability.