I wish I could find some form of peace and happiness within myself. It seems like all my happiness comes from external sources for validation and affirmation. The sad thing is, that's how I've been my whole life, so it's not like I know any better. I wish I was independent and didn't rely on anyone to make me happy or feel loved. I'm always so emotionally invested that at the end of the day, I'm the one who drowns in my own pool of sorrow. Whenever I meet someone, I always prepare myself to be ready to leave at any given moment... and I do think I am capable... I just need some time to recuperate. But some days, I feel weak and wish for sunshine and rainbows... like guaranteed emotional stability.

Sleepy

I like to skim through my previous posts before blogging just to see where I last left off (not that it will contribute to continuity or have some form of cohesion) but I enjoy being reminded of my previous mental state. And, what the hell... why do I sound so depressed? 

I really needed this break and enjoyed my time in Korea, being surrounded by my family. They really do keep me grounded and motivate me to live a fulfilling life. Although my life isn't perfect by any means, I think I'm happier now. 

I want to elaborate on this but I'm too sleepy... Will continue later.